


Unbroken

by Kairyn



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Eventual Relationships, Eventual Sex, Female Loki (Marvel), Gen, Gender Dysphoria, Gender or Sex Swap, Loki (Marvel) Does What He Wants, Male-Female Friendship, Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pregnancy, Pregnant Loki (Marvel), Protective Loki (Marvel), Sexual Slavery, Slave Loki (Marvel), Slaves, Slow To Update, Trauma, Unbroken Loki, Wilderness Survival, for a while, of a sort
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-13 09:01:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kairyn/pseuds/Kairyn
Summary: Loki might be in a not great situation. He realizes that. Currently situation includes: forced into his female body, pregnant, enslaved, crash landed on a mystery planet, and trapped with a bunch of other scared slaves that probably won't be much help. But he isnotgiving into that. He's Loki. And he might be a little scuffed and cracked but not broken. And he won't break. No matter what.
Relationships: Loki & Loki's Children (Marvel), Loki & Original Female Characters, Past Loki/others
Comments: 26
Kudos: 67





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, suddenly had the epiphany as I was reading that I had never actually written a legit Slave Loki fic. And I was like... nah, I had to have. *Goes to look* Well, what about that. I haven't. Well. That seems like an oversight.
> 
> But, I didn't want this fic to be a typical Slave!Loki fic so Loki's not a cowering mess here. He's a slave and has been abused and will have trauma and what not but he isn't completely broken. Mostly, at the moment, he's burying trauma in favor of being pissed off and surviving. Which I thought would be interesting. Also! Who do you want Loki to be with in this fic... I've been flip flopping with the pairing so I figured I'd perhaps put it to a vote. For options have this list of possibilities: Tony, Bruce, Steven Strange, The Grandmaster... um, those are the ones that pop into my head as easy to write in but I'd be willing to hear any other rare pairs or suggestions that you might have. Except Thorki. I don't have anything against it and read it, but I don't have any desire to write it.

To say Loki's life had not gone as he expected nor planned was a grotesque understatement. But, Loki was nothing if not resourceful. That inherent ability of his to slip out of tight spots and continue living was put to the test, however. He'd expected dungeons, imprisonment, perhaps even death to be his punishment for his masterful escape from Thanos. (Masterful might be pushing it just a minuscule amount, but his plan had _worked_ , had it not?)

What _had_ caught him off guard had been his acutal sentence. Enslavement. 

Loki thought he could be forgiven for his initial assumption that he'd had a lapse of sanity for a moment and needed the word repeated, because really. No member of the royal family had ever been sentenced to such a thing. Not once in the protracted and storied history of Asgard. Death, yes. Prison, also yes. Even torture and permanent maiming, yes. Of course. But to be made a _slave_? Enslavement as a punishment wasn't even often used for other free people of Asgard. 

And yet, the dogmatist, pompous old men that 'advised' Odin, actually seemed proud of themselves. Odin, well, Odin was a glacier atop his throne, and Loki could no more get his attention now than he could as a child tottering after Thor. His avoidance of stepping in was ruinous but no more than Loki had come to expect.

Loki was made to watch as they emptied his room and study and even his private vault. A constant stream of his treasures and books and anything he hadn't thought to keep in a dimensional pocket but was still _his_. The crown got the first pick of any of his things, as they did for every rare slavery punishment carried forth, but anything they didn't want was sold to the masses. Loki was methodically stripped of all the things he owned and from his chambers and then even the clothes on his back. 

He kept his chin perfectly level with the ground as he was stripped of his clothing in front of the masses and left only in chains. He knew he was not the epitome of Asgardian beauty, but neither was he ashamed of his appearance. Everyone's whispers and staring at him was disquieting, but he pushed every outward reaction down into the depths of his soul. Perhaps he would take the time to deal with it later, but he rather doubted it.

Loki was forced to his knees and held still as his head was shaved. He couldn't entirely stop the tremble in him as the last bit of himself was publicly shorn away, but he hoped it was minute enough to not get noticed. Black locks of his hair fell around him until he could feel the heat of the sun and the breeze across every inch of his head. It was unnatural and unpleasant. Shameful.

His auction proceeded immediately. Loki paid little attention to the amounts that were offered for him and only memorized the faces and voices that were doing the bidding. Cataloguing each and everyone for later. Because if they thought turning him into a _slave_ was going to stop him, they clearly had forgotten whom they were dealing with. He was _Loki_ and always got out of everything.

The man who bought him off the steps of the Palace freshly stripped and shorn was an absolute idiot. Brutal, capricious, and strict. But still an idiot. Loki quickly realized upon entering the man's home that, while his new owner was not the ideal choice, he would be easy enough to manipulate. So long as Loki was patient. What his so-called master enjoyed was the effort of breaking someone. Tearing them down until they were shells, and then he would grow bored. Once he grew disinterested in his shattered toy, he sold them to someone else at a higher price because they were 'worked in' as the ignoramus called it.

Loki operated normally for six months. He took many beatings and punishments. He got scars and perhaps sacrificed a few chips of himself to the greater goal of surviving. Then, once he heard the man complaining of 'how long' Loki was taking to break, the second part of his plan began. Loki started behaving more, forcing himself to keep his eyes down and cower if his abuser got angry. It might have been a little too easy to pretend at, but Loki didn't think about that. He just needed to convince the lummox that he'd succeeded in breaking Loki.

He was sold off-world three months later. Unfortunately, it was to the Dwarves. The Dwarves and Loki had never really gotten along, and so Loki was more than wary of being under their rule. He would not find many benefactors here, he knew. It led him to make his first big mistake. Loki had maintained his ability to shapeshift. Perhaps because it operated slightly differently than his magic, the binding tattoos that marred his skin had not worked on that power. Loki had kept it a secret but thought being someone other than recognizably 'Loki' would benefit him on Svartalfheim. So he had risked changing himself. He was spotted.

Loki was beaten worse than he had been at his first owner's and affixed with a new magical restraint to keep that ability also locked away. Luckily, they did not go so far as to strip away his slave status to make him a thrall. Thralls had even less value than slaves and to kill one was akin to killing a workhorse or ox. Not ideal, but there were always more thralls to replace it with. Slaves at least had some sort of value. Not much, admittedly, but Loki would take what little he could get. Especially as, on Svartalfheim, slaves were used in houses and domestic capacities, and thralls were used in hard labor like mining and working forges. Loki wasn't interested in breaking his back.

After his mistake with his power of shifting, Loki made sure to keep his head down. The Dwarves still beat him and worked him like a dog, but they seemed content enough to just watch him scrub the floors of the horse shit they would deliberately trail in from outside. A few would take every excuse to punish him, but they were thankfully not creative or excessive compared to the other slaves. They made jokes at his expense and kicked him, but Loki buried the fury inside to keep him warm during the nights in the drafty slave quarters.

Then, a nobleman from Alfheim came for a visit with the Dwarves. One Loki actually knew. They had been... friendly enough. 

He kept coming back even after his commission was complete. After nearly four months, he convinced the Dwarves to sell him Loki. Loki was glad for it. Sigyn would treat him well, Loki knew.

Unfortunately, Loki had not realized that his old acquaintance had been harboring a disproportionate amount of affection for him. They'd never fought or even really argued at the state dinners they'd bump into each other at, but neither had Loki considered them all that close. Sigyn was of a very different opinion. And he had just bought Loki as a slave.

Sigyn didn't treat Loki like a slave. He treated Loki more like a pet than a slave, which was not much of an improvement at all. Especially when he tweaked the restraint on Loki's shapeshifting and insist he shift into a beautiful woman. Loki couldn't say no. Nor could he say no when Sigyn brought Loki into his bed night after night in whatever form he requested.

Loki used Sigyn's obsession to his advantage as best he could. Gaining what he wanted and working on a plan to permanently reclaim his status as a freed man. 

Loki's plans were abruptly halted when, after having been enduring Sigyn's amorous affection for months, Loki realized the man's get had taken root. Sigyn had never fully understood that shapeshifting wasn't just aesthetic but was a full-bodied change. He'd been too eager to take Loki to bed in all forms over and over to allow Loki to protect himself with any magic or herbs. And so Loki's temporary womb had been perfectly capable of being filled. Sigyn, when he realized, was disgustingly overjoyed. He showered even more affection on Loki even as he vomited every morning and his stomach swelled.

Sigyn moved Loki into a tower and kept him locked away while his seed ripened in Loki's womb. He kept visiting frequently and acted as if they were a loving couple that just happened to be separated by minor social differences. As if it were that Loki was poor and not a slave that Sigyn owned. Loki had plenty of time to scheme while locked away in his tower. Escape was definitely possible with Sigyn as his owner. Loki just had to get the key away from him and slip out while Sigyn slept. The problem was the key itself, as Sigyn had enough magic to put it away in a pocket dimension of his own where Loki couldn't get at it.

Loki was quickly weighed down with the child he carried as well, which would be a complication that he'd never planned for. He didn't know anything about birthing or caring for babies. And now, he would have to somehow account for that while he fled. Perhaps he could leave the babe somewhere with a family that wanted one, but Loki would have to _find_ such a family first.

And then, Loki's time with Sigyn came to an abrupt end. Sigyn's constant visits to the tower did not go unnoticed, and his family came to investigate. Finding a pregnant slave there had not been something they'd been pleased with. While, despite his obsession, Sigyn would most likely not give even Loki's child any sort of status, his family must have realized how dangerous a bastard was to their wealth and lands. Especially one with a disgraced slave as a mother. The easiest way for them to get rid of the danger was to kill both Loki and the child in his womb. Nobody would cry for a killed slave.

Loki realized this as well and pleaded with everything he had. He shucked his remaining pride to the distant reaches of the universe to beg, capitulate, and bargain. Loki swore to the Norns he would never tell the child its parentage if they simply sent Loki away instead of slicing his throat.

After several oaths and paying with his body to Sigyn's brother, they agreed to show him that minor mercy. They took him and sold him off-world to a slave trader. The alien trader then promptly lost half of his stock (Loki included) in a card game to another trader.

Loki was sold off nearly immediately to a different slaver who specialized in peddling sex. Loki despised it, but since his stomach was swollen with a child and he was unable to change back to a male while the babe was within him, it wasn't as if he could hide what Sigyn had most used him for. The only boon Loki had was that his pregnant belly turned some of his potential buyers off. Others enjoyed it far _too_ much, but Loki tried to not think about that.

The intergalactic slave trade was not a pretty place to be. Loki kept switching ownership frequently for all manner of reasons. He counted five different slavers until one was murdered and the slaves taken by pirates. Loki was picked out a group of those that were taken. He noticed all of them looked very similar to each other, with dark hair and pale skin, only two arms and two legs. A few had extra features like tails or odd ears, but not many. He supposed the pirates had been under the employ of someone with specific tastes; it was yet to be known if Loki would be glad or not for falling into that taste. Loki overheard the pirates arguing about if Loki was worth taking in his current state, but they seemed to decide it was fine. Apparently, whoever hired them had known how impossible it would be for them to find an untouched pretty slave.

The small group of slaves was loaded into a ship to be taken to what the slavers called a backwater planet where any galactic authorities wouldn't bother looking too hard. They were all very jovial and bragging about the money they'd make off of this easy job. They still had all the other slaves that they could sell once they were done with this specific 'order' and were loud about what they'd do with their riches. They were travelling for days when the ship hit sudden turbulence and crashed. The slaves took more than a few bangs and bruises since they'd been in a cargo hold and chained to a wall.

The ship went dark and grew hot quickly. Loki and the rest of the slaves were left waiting. They would either be rescued or would die trapped in the hull of a pirate ship. Unfortunately, nobody was actively looking for them. They were just product to most people. More than a few of the girls whimpered and cried, but Loki sat against the wall and thought. The locks keeping them in the hull were the main problem, but if he could find a way to undo them, then they could possibly find an exit and figure out where they'd landed. Difficult, but not impossible. Loki felt the babe in his stomach kick and put a hand over the spot. And of course... there was still that to deal with.

Loki knew his time should be coming soon. Doing the math in his head, he estimated another month at most. He was not looking forward to it. Loki also suspected he wasn't the only one pregnant at the moment. One of the girls with a long fluffy tail and amber eyes was getting rather large around her midsection too.

"Alright," Loki said. The little noise that had been coming from the other slaves quieted. "Since the pirates are either dead or fled without freeing us... we'll have to do it ourselves. Start looking for something to break chains or pick locks."

He was Loki. He might be reduced to a pregnant slave crashed on some random planet, but he would be damned again if he was going to just lay down and expire in a heap of sorrow.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't planning on updating this quite so fast, but well, I wanted to introduce our ladies. The more I'm writing this I feel like I really want to explore this idea of a group of slaves surviving on an alien world after a crash... sooooo the pairing part of this is being pushed further and further back. *shrug* oh well, just means that if anyone wants a specific one there's plenty of time to for voting. (I might even break this into series by arc and this first one be solely about the slaves... tempting. Seriously considering it.)

In order to get free, they managed to wedge a pipe between the links of the chain and use leverage until it shattered. Unfortunately, it left lengths of chain hanging from their wrists, ankles, and necks, but that was better than being attached to each other and the wall. Even more unfortunate, as they worked to free themselves, they discovered one of the slaves had smacked into the wall hard enough to break her neck and had died in the crash. That left seven of them, two of which were pregnant. Obviously, Loki was one and was quite late into his to the point he felt like he was about to explode. And the youngest of them, O'rang, who was about halfway through her pregnancy.

Once they split the chains, they started looking for a way out of the cargo area. The problem being that they were in a slave ship, so the cargo hull was specially designed to keep people in. Saiz was a woman taller than even Loki and had been blinded for punishment, but had been an engineer, so was trying to walk them through hacking the door lock. Boda was able to see the best in the red emergency lighting, so was the one working with Saiz by the door.

Loki directed the others to gather what could possibly be useful from the various crates that were around. They had to break into the containers, but what they found would hopefully be enough to survive until Saiz and Boda finished. They put the slave that had died in the largest crate they could to bury later (if they ever got out). The makeshift coffin was still slightly too small, but it was the best they could do for her.

Saiz and Boda worked for a long while with what seemed to be little progress before taking any sort of break. Loki had managed to find a lantern and had gotten it working to at least have some light that they gathered around. Ieka, an exceptionally gorgeous woman with black tattoos all up and down her pale body like a monochromatic map of her life, passed out a portion of the food and water they'd found. 

They had never talked much. Most of them had accepted that getting close to other slaves was a bad idea. Either you were separated from any friends you made by death or sale, or a friend became a weakness the masters could exploit. But sitting trapped in a cargo hold with only a single lantern, hard rations, a partially filled cup of water, and silence, was not comfortable. Loki knew that it was a bad situation they were in, but he'd been in worse predicaments before. Admittedly, with warriors of Asgard and his brother, but there was little point in dwelling on the past. He knew that he needed to build some sort of bond here so that they could survive. No connection would only lead to quarreling among themselves for what little they did have.

Asking other slaves to talk about themselves and build bonds wouldn't work well, he didn't think. It was quickly learned to not tell anyone about yourself. So, though he didn't want to, Loki decided he would need to sacrifice his pride and some of his secrets. Neither thing would feed him here, and it wasn't as if there was much danger of anyone who would care finding out. "I'm not actually a woman," Loki said. His form was something he wished to correct as soon as feasible, so letting them know now would serve the purpose of offering the olive branch and allowing adjustment. "I'm a shapeshifter. A previous Master decided he liked testing out my different forms, and once he got me with child, I couldn't change back without hurting myself."

There was a silence as the others absorbed that information. Finally, though, Saiz spoke up. "Are you Skrull then?" Her milky eyes were directed near where Loki was sitting but off about a foot to the left.

"No," Loki said. "It's not like that. I can shapeshift, but I'm always me. Before my magic was bound, I could cast illusions to appear as others, but when I shift into a woman, I only ever turn into the same woman. Just me... with a uterus and breasts, I suppose..."

"Will-will you be able to turn back once the... the baby... is born?" O'rang asked, shrinking down a little bit. Her fluffy tail was around her ankles, and her hands went to her own belly. Loki knew she had to be thinking about whatever master had planted his seed in her. 

"I'm not sure," Loki said honestly. He wanted to, but Sigyn hadn't imparted the full breadth of the modifications he'd made to the binding. There was little point in lying about it. Doing so when there was nothing to gain only made one's story complicated and harder to remember. Those on Asgard called him a liar all the time, but he didn't spout untruths nearly as much as they assumed in reality. It would be exhausting to dissemble as much as they accused him of doing it. "He altered the restraint to allow me to shift at his command. Now that I've been sold, I haven't had a chance to turn back to male, so I don't know if the restriction has been lifted or if I'll be stuck until someone the collar recognizes as a master allows me to."

Loki let that sink in and didn't push for any of the others to speak up. Pressure would ensure that they didn't just like it always had with him. "My magic was sealed as well," Chiowe said. She was a woman with generous curves despite the lack of food slaves often had to deal with and nails closer to talons that had been brutally abraded to nubs. "It feels like a limb was chopped off."

Loki nodded in agreement. He kept trying to reach for his magic even after so long not having access to it, only to find nothing in response. He had a feeling that he wouldn't stop trying to use his seidr for quite a while. Perhaps never.

"What-" O'rang shrunk down again the second Chiowe looked at her. "I mean... if it's alright... what magic? Like... in the stories with-with making stars?"

O'rang must have been from a more primitive planet, Loki realized. That was a shame. Not only was she young and inexperienced, but she also had most likely no idea what was going on most of the time. The slavers had probably fitted her with a translator so she could understand orders, and that had been the extent of it—a horrible but not precisely notable practice. "Making stars isn't something that I know of any mage being able to do," Loki said. Perhaps, if they were here long enough, he might explain how stars really came to exist. "I could have made the illusion of stars, but an illusion isn't a real thing."

"I was more of a healer, myself," Chiowe said. "It's been horrible seeing so many people hurt and not being able to do anything about it..."

There was another long stretch of silence where they nibbled on the meager rations. Loki's baby kicked hard, and he shifted to better accommodate his stomach. "You've been wincing more frequently since we landed," Chiowe noted. "How much longer do you have?"

"A month... perhaps. Likely sooner," Loki said. Too soon, really. The chances of being rescued in a month were practically nothing at all. He was... apprehensive.

"We'll have to gather supplies for the birth," Boda said. "Whatever we can scrounge." Chiowe agreed and listed some basics -very little they had in the hold with them, Loki noted. All the more reason to escape.

Ieka gestured to the makeshift coffin. "Does anyone know what her people do for their dead?" she asked. "It would be unfortunate to not observe the proper rituals if we actually could."

O'rang cleared her throat, but when she spoke, her voice was still quiet, "We spoke a little before. She said she was a... a Miken? I don't know what that is, though."

"It's a species," Loki said. He racked his brain for any information he could, but the Miken wasn't a very widespread species. "All I know is that their planet circles a blue star and has a very acidic ocean, so they've evolved a thicker skin to cope with the acid rain there." He knew nothing about their culture.

Nobody else had any better information. "I guess you'll have to forgive us if we do something wrong," Ieka said to the coffin. She then said something Allspeak couldn't properly translate but sounded to Loki like 'Naeystadalie.' The best he could figure it was some sort of apology phrase. Perhaps very specific in use, and that was why Allspeak stumbled.

The day's rations were all eaten, but nobody seemed in a hurry to leave the small circle that they'd formed. "Do you think that-that the pirates told anyone where we... where we are?" O'rang asked after a long span of silence.

"I would be surprised if there isn't a distress beacon going off," Loki answered. "Most ships have them automated in case of emergencies. I would be more curious if we're in a system where another ship might pass by for some reason."

"They were saying that they were coming to a backwater planet," Saiz said. "That implies a backwater system as well."

"Not necessarily," said Ntira. She was one with strange ears -they almost looked like fins hidden behind her hair. Ntira had a distinct aqua tinge to her pale skin in what looked to be a faint pattern and eyes so blue they very nearly glowed as if under control of the Mind Stone. Loki personally found it an unpleasant reminder but was doing his best to not think about it at all. "I can think of a couple of planets considered a backwater in the middle of very popular travel routes."

"Yes, there will always be exceptions," Saiz said. "But my point was, we can't put all our hope on someone being nearby."

"Has anyone been in survival situations before?" Loki asked. "Know how to hunt or make clothes?" Considering all of them were in thin dresses meant to entice and provide easy access for their Master's pleasure, better clothes would be a massive improvement.

"I have some practice with that," Boda said. "I make no claims as to how good the clothes will look, but I used to help my Aunt in her tailoring business."

"I'm afraid my hunting skills are severely limited now," Saiz said.

Loki shook his head before he could catch the instinct. Saiz couldn't see gestures. "You shouldn't worry about that; you're helping unlock us from this room," Loki said.

"If we are near water, my people are excellent fishermen," Ntira said. "... also, if there's anything to catch."

"I watched my brothers learn from my father how to make traps," O'rang said. "But I was only supposed to clean and cook what they caught... not catch it."

Loki attempted a smile. O'rang looked uncertain and fiddled with her tail in her lap. "Cleaning game is just as important as catching it, O'rang. Besides, there's no telling if there's anything to catch right now," he said.

"Shall we attempt the door again, Boda?" Saiz asked.

Boda nodded and held out a hand to help Saiz up from her seat. "Take the lantern," Loki said. "It's more valuable that you see as opposed to us."

"Oh, yes, we'll just sit in the dark," Ntira murmured. "Why not?"

"Priorities, Ntira," Loki said. He understood sitting in the dim emergency bulbs was unsettling, but they had only one light. "Once we are no longer imprisoned with a dead body, I'll gladly allow you to horde the lantern."

"We'll work as quickly as we can," Boda promised as she took the lantern and guided Saiz over to a seat beside the door so they could work.

Loki leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes, intending to rest while he had the chance. The baby kicked his insides again, aiming directly for the liver, it felt like. "It is a miracle the crash didn't trigger your labor," Chiowe said soft enough for only Loki to hear. "Or O'rang's."

Loki opened his eyes. Chiowe had moved to sit beside Loki and was scrutinizing his face in the dim light. "I suppose even I get a bit of luck on occasion."

Chiowe hummed and gestured to Loki's rotund stomach. He inclined his head to give permission, and she put her palm to the hard curve. The baby kicked at the spot, and Loki flinched. "... I'm not certain you'll last a month," Chiowe said.

"I don't think so either," Loki admitted. The baby was becoming more restless to the point Loki couldn't lay down and sleep properly. He kept getting woken up. The impending birth was part of the reason he wanted so desperately to get out of the hold. They had limited supplies, were trapped with a corpse, and sooner than he'd like, he'd have a baby to deal with.

If Loki were honest, he was more than a little scared of the whole situation. Females had been giving birth for millennia. But he wasn't a female. Not truly. He had no idea what delivery would entail or what could go drastically wrong. Loki would have to depend on the other slaves to help him. Relying on others was not natural for him after centuries of learning that nobody would help. If he started getting into trouble during labor... would they assist? It would save them resources if he died. Not to mention a baby was a helpless drain on everything to have around since they did nothing to contribute but needed constant care. Any pragmatic survivor would realize how much of a liability Loki and his child would be, and Loki could only pray that pragmatism wouldn't reach its logical conclusion.

"I can almost hear your brain working," Chiowe said. "What are you thinking about?"

"Survival," Loki said.

Chiowe hummed, and Loki noticed it had a strange, almost purring sound under it. "That is the big worry. I take it you don't think we will? Survive that is?"

"Some of us might," Loki said. "But I don't know how many." And he didn't know if he and his baby would be among that number. He honestly rather doubted it. His luck had never been good, and Loki didn't see it holding for as long as it would take to survive the situation.

Chiowe hummed again, and the two of them lapsed into silence. Loki closed his eyes again and rubbed the side of his stomach where the baby was again deciding to rearrange his organs. Loki was trying to focus on options. He wasn't unfamiliar with ships like this one. Not this specific model, but he could probably figure out how to pilot it if it was still space worthy. And if it wasn't, perhaps Saiz could fix it. 

More pressing was the issue of the emergency signal. If the distress beacon was indeed active, that would identify them as a slaver ship, which would not be good. It would draw in either other slavers that would be glad to get free stock or some law enforcement agency. Being found by law enforcers could be good or just as bad as other slavers, depending on which specific group it was. Within the Nine Realms, the practice of slavery is restricted and controlled. However, there were plenty of other empires in the universe that still used slaves ubiquitously. They wouldn't be picky about where they got their product from.

"You're taking all of this quite calmly," Chiowe said.

"Panicking is when you start to make mistakes," Loki said without bothering to open his eyes. "Besides... I think I heard something somewhere that panicking could bring about labor. So, I'd rather not do that any sooner than I must."

"Just because you know you shouldn't panic doesn't always mean you'll be able to avoid it." Loki nodded a little in acknowledgement of Chiowe's point. "It seems more like you've been in unusually stressful situations before."

Loki opened his eyes then and noticed more than just Chiowe was looking at him. Everyone seemed to be except Saiz, of course. It was unnerving being the center of attention, but if he could stand nude in front of a crowd and get his hair shaved off, he could deal with these women's stares just as well. "Before I was a slave, I was a Prince. I was raised with the expectation to be able to handle anything thrown at me."

"A Prince?" O'rang echoed with a gasp.

"Yes. A second Prince never intended for the crown but meant to be the advisor to my brother. The calm voice of reason to temper his impulsivity. Of course, my father didn't deem it necessary to tell me this and avowed that I was a prospect for the crown. Hindsight, though makes it clear what he intended," Loki said. He hated to admit it. He really did, but if he was likely to end up expired at the end of the month, he saw no point in acting like he didn't know the truth anymore. Like he hadn't had the slowly sinking feeling burgeoning within him most of his life that he was the spare that only his mother wanted.

"So, how does a Prince end up a slave?" Ntira asked.

Loki shrugged. "A long string of misfortune and errors. But, ostensibly because I led an army against another world that my brother decided he liked," Loki said. "I imagined they'd imprison or execute me for it... they managed to surprise me with this. Not something they often do, but... well. There you have it," Loki said. That was about as far into the situation as he would go because it was all too raw. In truth, he hadn't even intended to reveal that much of his history, but it had come spilling out frighteningly effortlessly.

These women were barely acquaintances despite his knowledge that sharing a bond would help them survive. It was hardly appropriate to go airing the gangrenous wounds of his soul to them. Loki couldn't bring himself to say such honest truths to his family, and here he was blurting things out to slaves. Slaves that he was now one of and equal with, he forcibly reminded himself. The goal was to get his freedom back, but he had to remember he wasn't there yet. Getting ahead of himself would end in disaster.

"I was on track to become the next ruler of my clan," Boda said. "Largest on the continent. I had so many things I wanted to do. Plans for making things better. A new energy plant and water purification development. Then my cousin drugged me, and I woke up in a slaver ship..."

O'rang sniffed. "I was supposed to be married... but three days before the men came and took so many of us away."

"It'll be alright, O'rang," Ieka said, patting the younger girl on the shoulder. 

Chiowe nodded in agreement. "It's hard to be separated from family, but we will look after each other while we're here."

"It's strange to think of you as a Prince," Ntira said. "You always seemed so obedient whenever the Masters came by."

Loki shrugged. "I have played a part all my life. I don't intend to die a slave, and pretending to be well behaved spared me unnecessary pain," he said. "Some fights aren't worth fighting. Specifically the ones you can't win."

"There is something to be said for fighting to the death," Ntira said.

"True. If something worthwhile would come of it. Dying at the end of a slaver's whip will not make me a martyr but a statistic. The family who sent me to this fate will never hear from me again, which was their goal. They don't care if I live a long or short life as a slave. If I find some measure of acceptance or die miserably fighting to the end. They only care that they don't have to deal with me. Surviving and making sure they know I have... that all their attempts to break me failed, is a fight worth pursuing."

Ntira studied him for a long moment before slowly starting to smile. "Oh, I like you, Loki. Very much."

Ieka cleared her throat. "My family sold me as well. I'm too pale, you see. Most of my people are much darker-skinned. These tattoos I have would barely show on most of my family. But I'm missing skin pigment, and that's seen as bad luck. Some people like me are killed for fanciful, magical cures or rituals, but others like me are sold to be gotten rid of. I think I would like it if my mother were reminded I exist..." she said.

Silence lingered in the room for a few moments. "Well, the first step is to get out of this room. How is the door coming?" Loki asked.

"I think I understand how the lock is wired," Saiz said. "Undoing it might take some time, but I'm sure I can do it."

"Good."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At the end of this chapter there is a childbirth scene. I don't consider it graphic as I don't mention anything like fluids or even what was going on between the legs at all. But if you want to skip it entirely just stop after the line about Loki cursing Sigyn.

Five hours later, the door finally opened. The air outside of the cargo hold was cool and refreshing. "Oh, thank _Aeckara_ ," Ntira said as she got to her feet. "I was starting to feel claustrophobic."

Loki used the wall to help leverage himself upright. His stomach nearly overbalanced him, but Chiowe had her hand out to catch him if he tripped. "Let us see where we've ended up," Loki said. He grabbed the pipe they had used to break the chains and started into the pirate ship's central portion. Boda kept pace with Saiz to guide her, and O'rang clung to Ieka's side near the back of the group.

The ship was lit with the same red emergency lights as the hold had been, and the lantern that Ntira was carrying for them made harsh shadows on the walls. Loki noted several cracks and places where plating had been ripped off from the crash. Some wires were exposed and blackened -burned from the inside, Loki wagered. Things weren't looking promising on the issue of space-worthiness.

They came across the first corpse in what looked to be a kitchen. It appeared as if the pirate fell back during the crash, and then the cooling unit that was meant to preserve raw food had toppled and crushed him. A still tacky puddle of blood glinted in the light of the lantern. Loki didn't bother looking at what supplies there were just yet. He wanted to first be sure that the pirates were all either perished or fled.

Across from the kitchen was a small bathing chamber. A water pipe had broken and flooded the room and most of the hallway. The water appeared to have drained away by this point, but Loki could see the damage left behind on different wall panels. That probably meant that the reserves were now bone dry from the flood. Wonderful.

Continuing down the hall, there were stairs down that were sheared off, and all that was left was exposed dirt. "Definitely not spaceworthy," Loki muttered. If he was correct, that had been where the engines would have been located. The ship must have skidded across the ground and lost its lower section. Or at least part of it. They found two bunk rooms and the captain's quarters, which had been completely upturned in the collision. Another pirate was dead in one of the bunkrooms with a cracked open skull as the most likely culprit.

Finally, they made it to the cockpit of the ship. It was more chilled in this room, but due to the windows, cockpits often weren't insulated the same way the ship's main hull would be. All they could see out of the cracked windows was dirt. One of them was even broken out entirely, so soil and rocks had flooded in on that side. Loki thought he saw a boot sticking out from under the pile. The pilot, perhaps. The transport was well wedged in wherever they had landed. Loki was surprised. The impact hadn't felt very severe where they were in the hold.

"How did the pirates get out? There were more than two of them," Chiowe asked.

Loki pointed to the side with the pipe. There was an emergency hatch there that was unlocked. "Through there, I imagine."

"Well, I'm sick of being in here, so let's see what we have," Ntira said as she went to the door and pushed on it.

The door creaked, and when it finally opened, a rush of icy air breezed through. Ntira cursed and jumped back to rub her arms even as a sea of white was revealed. Off in the distance, there were distinct shapes of trees covered in snow, but other than that, there was nothing but a trail of tracks half-filled with snow leading away.

Loki stared for a moment before he couldn't help it. He started laughing. Leaning on the pipe for support, he laughed until he cried, and his large stomach hurt. The Norns really did hate him. Why. Why, of all the places they could have landed, was it here? Loki sobbed into his hand and was suddenly sitting in a chair. "Loki? What is it?" Chiowe asked.

Loki shook his head. "Irony. Horrid, despicable irony," Loki said as he wiped the tears from his face. The door had been closed again to keep the cold out, and the others were staring at him.

"I come from an ice planet originally. Jotunheim. I don't know if that's where we are... but I despise that planet. And I'm wanted for crimes there. If this is Jotunheim... winter never ends, and it's filled with savage beasts. We need to get off this planet," Loki said.

"But it might not be Jotunheim," Ieka said. "Right?"

Loki nodded. He had to admit that a short glimpse of the planet outside wasn't long enough to be positive, but Loki wasn't willing to stick around for more conclusive evidence. "I'm worried about why the pirates left the ship," Boda said. "It's so cold out there I can't imagine anyone would last long."

"There had to have been a reason," Chiowe said.

Loki forced his mind away from the possibilities that they were on Jotunheim. It probably wasn't, he reminded himself. The immense field of snow reminded him of the frozen wastes, but it wasn't _that_ frigid outside. They were most probably just on a mountain peak where it was cold. That was all. It didn't sound convincing, but he let the thought supersede his worries about the Frost Giant's homeworld so that he could focus on the question of why their captors left. "Saiz. Check for the beacon," Loki said. "If they couldn't transmit a signal, they might have taken it to find a more suitable location."

Saiz nodded and had Boda help her look for the beacon in the semi-crushed, darkened console. "If it's very cold out... won't that make it harder to survive?" O'rang asked.

"It could," Ieka said. "But that does mean we don't have to worry about water. The snow can be melted."

"My people don't do well in the cold," Ntira said. Her arms were crossed over her chest, and she had her lips pursed tightly in displeasure. "Our planet only gets snow at the poles in the dead of winter."

"Then you should remain in the ship as much as possible," Loki said. So long as they didn't have to abandon it for some reason, that shouldn't be a problem. "And we'll find something warm for you to wear soon. For all of us to wear soon."

After several minutes, Boda straightened. "I don't see it, Saiz."

"They must have done what you said, Loki," Saiz said. "There's no beacon in the console."

"It's not torn out," Boda added. "I can see where the base of it used to sit, and it's been unscrewed."

Loki nodded. That figured. At least no pirates would come directly to the impact site, so they would hopefully have some warning if they did arrive. "It would be best to see what supplies we have available. Food and clothing and such. We'll deal with the bodies once we've gone through everything."

And with that, the group of them started a careful search of what remained in the ship. The pirates had taken all of the non-perishable food, and because the preserver had toppled, everything that had been in it was already starting to spoil. Not ideal. As Loki thought, the water tanks were empty, but that was the least of their problems.

Plenty of clothes remained, but most of the medical supplies had either been in the ship's destroyed section or had been taken by the pirates. Loki stepped outside cautiously as the others went through the bunkrooms for anything of value. He looked down at where his pale skin made contact with the snow. His flesh was beginning to turn cobalt in a slowly creeping stain. Loki chuckled to himself, although he was not amused in the least. Apparently, his shifting for survival wasn't covered under the limitations of his bindings. That would be helpful even though seeing the truth made him queasy.

Once his skin had fully turned blue, the weather felt like a halcyon spring day. Loki wasn't in the least bit bothered by the temperature. He stepped further out from the transport and took stock of their surroundings. They did seem to be on the top of a mountain, which was comforting. Most likely, if they were on a mountain on Jotunheim, it would be gelid even for him. They were near the edge of an expansive clearing, and the pirate tracks went across and then down the slight slope. Several inches of snow and probably several feet of dirt had been pushed up and over the nose of the vessel, making a small mound that would not be feasible to move. Loki could see the trail of debris left in a massive divot from their crashed ship. It was lucky that the cargo hold was located in the back and not underneath, or they would all have been killed. A few pieces were still smoking, and some destroyed pines -or something very similar to them- were toppled from the crash. Overall it wasn't as devastating as Loki assumed it would be. Perhaps the pirates had aimed for the clearing in an attempt to land? He would have.

Loki strained his eyes to try and see the bottom of the mountain, but they were of a sufficient altitude that it was difficult. There were darkened patches below, but it was a challenge to determine if they were rocks or plant life without more detail. Loki assumed it was a forest of some sort as trees grew even where their vessel had come to rest. Either the pines themselves were very hardy, or the mountain wasn't as massive as it appeared to be. They could most likely climb down as the pirates seemed to be attempting.

Loki turned and headed back inside. Boda was waiting for him as he awkwardly climbed through the hatch. His stomach made the step more difficult than it should be. "... you're blue."

"It's my natural form," Loki said. "Apparently, the binding on my shapeshifting can't prevent my body from following instincts. I think we can climb down off this mountain. But it will be an extensive hike."

"And you're in no condition," Boda said as she closed the door and pulled the lever to seal it shut. They didn't want to allow any frigid air in if it wasn't absolutely necessary. "I've got plenty of fabric to start on new clothes. I'm worried about food, though. Those bastards didn't leave us with much."

Loki nodded. "There are trees, which means there's at least some life despite the altitude. Let's hope that it provides enough to either grow nuts and berries or keep animals alive. We'll ration what we have, and once you're done making more appropriate clothing, we can go see what's out there."

"We? You're about ready to split your stomach open."

"I also am not affected by the cold. It doesn't make sense for me to remain behind. So long as I don't strain myself, I should be fine."

Boda frowned, "And if you go into labor in the middle of the woods?"

"Trust me, I'm not attempting to make that a reality, but we need to take advantage of whatever we have at our disposal," Loki said. "And I won't be going out alone. I'll wait until someone else can go with me. After you finish the clothes. Tell Saiz and Ntira to work on fixing the preserver. If we _can_ find something edible, I'd like to keep it around as long as we can."

"O'rang shouldn't go out either," Boda said. "At least not until we know what might be out there."

Loki considered that and then nodded. "She can help Chiowe gather whatever they can find to prepare for... the birth," Loki said. The whole idea was still terribly uncomfortable for him, but he knew that he had to quickly get used to it.

"What should we do with the bodies?" Boda asked.

"The animals, if there are any, can have the pirates," Loki said. "Maybe they can serve as bait and bring something substantial our way. We'll bury our friend in the hold outside if the ground isn't too hard."

Boda nodded. "Ieka and I will handle it once we have something suitable for the cold. She's looking for thread or something similar we can use. We'll rip up sheets and tie the clothes together if we must, but I would prefer something more secure than that."

"Good. Let me know when you've finished," Loki said as he sat down in one of the chairs. Boda was right that he wasn't in the best condition for going out foraging or hunting, but Loki truly didn't see any other way. He'd gone on countless hunts in the snowy wilds before, and Loki was naturally suited for the weather. He needed to do what he could before the baby came, and he was laid up for however long. Already his pregnancy would keep them from leaving the mountainside immediately.

After scrounging, they managed to save enough rations to last them five days. It wasn't much, but Loki was glad they had something. Boda managed to make thicker clothing for everyone in only a half-day so that they could find what the forest had to offer. Their fellow slave was buried in her coffin in the hill that the crash had caused as that soil was far easier to shovel out. The pirates were tossed into the woods with a few pitfall traps arranged around them -which had not been easy to set up. Still, Boda had staunchly refused to allow Loki to help with anything physical.

There weren't any obvious sources of berries or nuts to be found, but Loki did discover large tracks and torn bark on several trees, so there had to be some wildlife. He hoped that whatever it was would be brought out by the bodies and caught in the traps. The tracks seemed like they were left by a decent-sized creature with claws, and, in Loki's experience, that usually meant omnivores at the least.

The kitchen stove still worked, so it wasn't hard to melt snow and then heat up water. But, Loki was wary about the amount of fuel they had. The gauge was cracked and nonfunctional from the crash, so there was no telling how much was left. He started having them gather up fallen timber from the forest and get it into the ship's hold to dry it out for later. Even if the ship's fuel lasted them a while, they would need the wood on their way down the mountain.

On the third day, Loki went out with Boda and Ieka to check the traps. It was a surprise but a very welcome one to see that the pitfall they'd dug had finally paid off. A large bear-like creature was in the bottom skewered by sharp scrap metal. The beast had shaggy white fur with pale blue stripes over its limbs and was stained red with blood. Loki wished he was more familiar with the monsters of Jotunheim to know if this was a creature found there or not. His worries would be considerably lessened if he knew for sure if Frost Giants were something he had to consider in his plans.

"That will feed us for a while," Loki said as he eyed the creature's bulk. Unfortunately, it would be a problem to lift out. "Ieka. You're the lightest. You rappel down, and you can butcher the monster into smaller pieces, and then it should be easy to manage." They had arranged the trap under a sturdy pine, so they should be able to use the branches as a makeshift winch to help get the animal out of the pit bit by bit.

Ieka nodded and took one end of the rope while Boda wrapped the other around her waist. They'd done this several times while setting the jagged spikes in place and had become efficient at it. Loki knew Boda wouldn't allow him to help, so he just watched to make sure nothing happened. Besides, his back was aching terribly again, so he didn't mind not straining himself.

Ieka picked her way carefully through the spears to reach the creature's side. She removed a large knife they'd found in the kitchen out of her belt and began trying to cut the animal's large front limb off. "You think the knife you have will be enough?" Loki asked. "Or should I see if I can find you a sharper one?"

"I think this will do," Ieka said. "Or, at least, it is for now."

"Good. I'll go retrieve the sled Ntira made. Maybe something for the organs to go into," Loki said. "No reason to waste any of it."

"What do you even do with the internal organs of a bear?" Boda asked.

Loki shrugged. "Eat some of it. The liver and heart particularly should be quite good. The intestines will need to be well cleaned, but we have plenty of snow to do that."

"We are lucky hunting is still so popular on Asgard," Boda said. "I don't think I would have thought to take the organs of this beast."

"Considering how dire our situation and how much effort it was to dig this shaft in the first place, I'm not about to let anything go to waste. That fur it has looks like it'll make a decent cloak or blanket, doesn't it?"

"I have no idea how to tan leather, Loki," Boda said.

"Admittedly, I've never attempted it either. But I'm sure we can figure something out," Loki said.

"This is already a messy, unpleasant job," Ieka said. "And I haven't even gotten to the real unpleasant parts yet."

"We'll start making you up a nice hot bath, Ieka," Loki said. "By the time you're done, we will probably have a decent amount of water melted and heating up."

"I look forward to it! This blood's not even really that warm..."

Loki turned to face the ship. "I'll go and get it started, then bring back the sled." Loki resisted the urge to rub his back in case Boda was looking. If she saw him so visibly uncomfortable, she would most likely tell him to rest. Loki couldn't stand to do that when they were scraping together whatever they could to survive.

When Loki got to the ship, he told the others to start melting and heating up snow for Ieka to wash when she finished. There was also the need to clean their catch, so they would need quite a bit of water when it was all said and done. With the others set to doing that, Loki grabbed a bin that they had scrounged from the wreck and the sled made of scrap. Ntira, despite the warmer clothes Boda had fashioned, still could not be out in the cold for long. Her internal temperature plummeted at an alarming rate. So, to keep her busy and feeling productive, Loki had turned her to constructing different things out of the wreckage. That included using sheets of metal to form a sleigh to drag heavier items around on top of the snow. They'd used it for large tree limbs already, so Loki knew it worked well enough.

Loki dragged the sled back with the bin on it and ignored the aches and pains that continued to flare up around his lower back and stomach. He would rest after they finished with the beast they'd caught.

After about five trips back and forth, they finally got all of the bear out of the pitfall. Luckily, Saiz had managed to get the preserver working the day before, so they filled it with the bear's meat and organs. At the same time, Boda went back to replace the covering over the trap. Loki had no idea if they would get so lucky a second time, but it was worth the attempt. And now that their immediate need for food was somewhat alleviated, they could go further and search for other sources.

As Ieka cleaned the good amount of blood off herself, Loki got with O'rang and Ntira to discuss how they might make the most out of the meat. While the preserver would keep the bear fresh for a longer time, it couldn't go indefinitely. Since the ultimate goal was to get off the mountain, they would need food that would last without dependence on a machine. The best idea was to dry the meat with smoke. That would take a long time to smoke any substantial amount of it -longer than Loki wanted- but there wasn't a way around that. Every preservation method took time. They could probably create a makeshift smoker from the various cargo crates they'd been locked up with, but it would take some ingenuity.

"Loki," Chiowe said. "You've been on your feet for hours. You should sit down and rest."

"I'm fine, Chiowe," Loki said.

"You're paler than usual. And I've seen you wincing."

Loki huffed in frustration. "Chiowe, I'm fine. Truly."

"I would feel more certain about that if you were to take a break. Just five minutes," Chiowe said. "Sit down and rest. Or I'll get Boda to tie you down, and then you'll be resting for much longer, whether you like it or not."

"No need to use threats, Chiowe," Loki said. "I'll go sit, alright?" He went over to a few nearby crates and sat down. "See? Sitting."

"Stay sitting."

"Nag, alright. I'll stay sitting."

Chiowe narrowed her eyes at him before she left the hold. Loki shook his head but had to admit -if only to himself- that it was a relief to be off his feet. "You do look paler than usual," Ntira said. "And not just because you've been blue off and on lately."

Loki waved the comment away. "I'm fine. Now that we have some food, I can take a break."

"You can. But will you?" Ntira asked. "It's just, you don't seem the type to relax," she added when Loki glared in her direction.

"I already have Chiowe and Boda nagging at me. I don't need you to do it as well."

"We're just worried," O'rang said. "Chiowe says if you work too hard, you might make the baby come sooner."

"I know," Loki said. "And believe me, I'm not trying to cause that to happen." He wasn't looking forward to labor, after all, although it would be nice to not be carrying such a huge weight on his front any longer. As it turned out, pregnancy was a rather horrifying ordeal that Loki would have been thrilled remaining oblivious to.

Sitting helped, but Loki remained uncomfortable the rest of the day. So much so that when they made dinner, Loki passed on his portion. He was not remotely hungry, and his lower half had gone from an annoyance to painfully cramped. He decided to retire early since he could probably use the rest after working all day.

Due to his stomach being so obnoxious, Loki had been given the captain's quarters to sleep in, which had a wider bed. The cramping in his abdomen did make it very hard to get comfortable, but Loki eventually drifted off to sleep.

It was late, and Loki woke up in excruciating pain. He couldn't bite back the scream or even think of doing so as fire exploded through his nerves and yanked him back awake. He gripped his massive stomach as the pain receded. Loki was still attempting to catch his breath when the door to the captain's cabin opened. Chiowe was there, looking like she had jumped straight out of bed. "I thought this might happen," she said. "You were pushing yourself too hard."

"I'm fine," Loki said. "It was just a cramp."

"Yes, well, when that cramp returns, let me know," Chiowe said.

Hours later, Loki was cursing Sigyn with everything in him as the pain continued to rip through him with increasing frequency. It hurt so much and was only getting worse each time. Loki had been tortured before, and he wasn't at the moment, sure which he preferred. He kept reminding himself people gave birth all the time, yet he was sure each time the pain returned, he would die from it. Loki was covered in a fine sheen of sweat as he endured wave after wave. It just kept going on and on.

The others were there, attempting to comfort him when they could, but there wasn't much to be had. Saiz patted the sweat from his head, and O'rang brought him cool water between his screams. Chiowe was clearly the most familiar with the situation and quickly took charge of the others, sending them out regularly to get whatever she needed.

Loki drifted in and out whenever he had a moment's respite. The time between contractions was growing steadily smaller and the pain, unbelievably to him, somehow seemed to be getting worse. He was vaguely aware of conversations going on around him but was far too preoccupied to pay any attention to them.

When the agony finally became too constant to even drift off for a moment, they coached him on what he had to do. Loki had no idea how he was supposed to survive this. It already hurt too much, and they wanted him to push? Some distant part of him knew he had to, and he wanted to just to bring it to an end, but the idea was terrifying at the same time. He couldn't do this. He simply couldn't! Didn't it hurt enough already?

But he didn't have a choice. His body, stranger and traitor that it was, also demanded he get Sigyn's child out of him. He screamed himself hoarse as he bore down. He was already exhausted from how long he'd been in pain, but he put every ounce of stubbornness and will he'd ever had into just _doing it_.

Gentle hands mopped the sweat off his face and petted his head. It felt like Frigga. Loki felt the tears on his face. He wished she were here. She would know what to do where Loki couldn't fathom anything beyond how much it hurt. He pushed again and screamed. He wanted his Mother. He wanted her so much! She would make it better. He didn't know how but she always did.

They wanted him to keep pushing. "I can't," he sobbed. "I can't. It hurts too much! I can't!"

"You can! Loki! Focus. You _can_ do this. I promise you that you can."

Loki gripped the hand that was holding his as tightly as he could. He had no idea how he was supposed to keep going. "Loki, it's alright. You're doing so well." Someone was supporting him from behind, but he wasn't sure when that had started.

"I'm going to die..."

"Stop being so dramatic, Loki. You're not dying," Ntira said.

"You're not," Chiowe agreed. "You're doing well."

He didn't feel like he was doing well. He felt like he was struggling and getting nowhere. "Come on, Highness," Saiz said as she patted a cool towel against his face. "We know you can do this."

Loki would have protested, but another wave of pain took that thought straight out of his head. He pushed again because, at this point, he couldn't simply stop.

The agonizing pressure finally let up, and Loki was able to catch his breath. He rested his head against the shoulder of who he thought might be Boda behind him. Another scream was ripped from his already sore throat as the wave of pain returned.

Loki was vaguely aware of some commotion going on around him but was too consumed with pain and exhaustion to pay much attention to it. It wasn't fair. Why did he have to suffer more? Why couldn't he just die and be done with it?

His Mother wiped away the sweat dripping down his temple and told him he had to push again. He didn't know why and he didn't want to, but he knew that she wouldn't tell him to do something unless he really had to. She wouldn't deliberately hurt him. He had to believe that. So even though it hurt so much, it brought fresh tears to his cheeks; he did as she said.

Finally. Finally, the agony ripping through him and the intense pressure he felt was relieved, and Loki could catch his breath. He was too exhausted to open his eyes. "Mother..."

"You're alright, Loki. You did so well."

Loki was just glad it was over and allowed himself to slip off into the blissful unconsciousness. It wouldn't hurt so much there in the black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Baby reveal next chapter!
> 
> If anyone cares about how to pronounce the ladies names, most are pretty much how they're spelled but here's a guide anyway:  
> Chiowe - SHE-o-way  
> O'rang - O-rang  
> Saiz- SaiZ (emphasis is on the consonants)  
> Boda- Bo-Da  
> Ntira- N-tear-A  
> Ieka- Yay-Ka
> 
> And I presume everyone knows how to say Loki. Ieka and Chiowe are the hard ones, haha.


	4. Chapter 4

Loki woke up feeling absolutely abhorrent still, which he supposed wasn't very remarkable. He had just endured labor. He looked over and saw Boda sitting on the edge of the bed beside him. "How long?" Loki croaked despite how dry his mouth and throat felt.

Boda looked up from the sewing she was doing to see that Loki was awake. "How long were you asleep, or how long was the labor?" Boda asked.

"Both."

"You've been asleep about ten hours. You were in labor for just over twenty-seven," Boda said. "Chiowe had been starting to worry about you. Especially when your fever spiked, and you became a bit delusional."

Loki wasn't sure how to respond to that. He knew, intellectually, that the vague, fevered sense of his mother being there hadn't been real, but it still cut deeply that she hadn't been. Loki laid there for several minutes, just trying to absorb the situation. Nothing about it was slotting into his brain perfectly, no matter which angle he was coming at it from.

"Loki, how much do you remember, anyway?" Boda asked.

"Not much. Except that it hurt. A lot," Loki said. That was perhaps the most massive understatement he'd ever uttered, but he didn't think he was capable of describing the feelings accurately when they were so fresh.

Boda nodded. "Chiowe had to stitch you up. And she doesn't want you getting out of bed except to go to the bathroom for the next week at least," Boda said.

Loki nodded. He wasn't all that interested in testing his legs right now anyway. He stared up at the ceiling of the captain's quarters. Finally, he forced himself to address the obvious. He couldn't avoid it interminably. "... what did I have?"

Boda shifted in her seat, drawing Loki's gaze down. "A boy." Boda was twisting the fabric in her hand slightly. "... and another boy."

"Pardon?" Loki had to have misheard her.

Boda sighed and reached over to put her sewing project on the side table. "Twins, Loki. Two little boys. They're small, but Chiowe said that's to be expected from slaves like us with limited care. But other than that, twenty toes and twenty fingers between them. Four eyes and eight limbs perfectly intact. I suppose you were still too feverish to remember nursing them last night. You didn't seem very aware."

Loki most certainly did not recollect anything of the sort. He shook his head, but his mind was spiraling with this news. He had thought his life would be desperately difficult with just a baby. The possibility that he had been carrying more than one had never occurred to him. And sons, at that. Loki had deliberately not considered what the child -children, apparently- would be. Male or female had been inconsequential. Either way, there would be no grand future in store. Loki had been stripped of all status and had sworn on pain of rape and death to keep the father secret. They inherited no prospects.

Loki wasn't sure how to feel about the idea of having two sons. It felt sudden even though Loki had been carrying them in his womb for months. Somehow, the notion of children had remained abstract in his mind. A problem to be dealt with and worked around. A hindrance that might get Loki killed or abandoned. But now, he was faced with reality and not a distant concept. And it was worse than he expected. Being saddled with one newborn was already going to make things infinitely more complex. Two newborns... well, Loki wasn't even sure he could keep two babies alive.

"They're going to need names," Boda said.

Loki nodded, although he hadn't thought of any names at all. He'd never felt the need or desire to think about offspring enough to come up with possible names for them. Some childish part of his mind had assumed Loki would just use a family name if offspring ever came into the picture, but now that was a glaringly bad idea. Loki had been severed from his family, which hadn't even been his in the first place. He would have to conceive of something else. Perhaps something would come to him when he saw the boys. "... where are they?"

"Over here," Boda said. She got up from her seat and made her way to a large crate that was overflowing with fabric. The box was sitting on a chair, and she picked the whole thing up to bring over to where Loki was lying. Loki carefully pushed himself upright, wincing as his lower half very much protested, and peered into the makeshift bassinet.

Loki had to admit to some relief when he saw that neither baby was blue. He hadn't actively realized that was a fear until it was proven unfounded. Both boys were bundled up and sleeping soundly. They weren't as pale as Loki's Aesir skin was, and both were indeed a bit smaller than Loki was expecting. He supposed that made sense. They'd had to share space and, though Sigyn had provided plenty of food and care, Loki had spent a bit under half of his pregnancy enslaved to those who didn't have such an onus. He'd had to earn his food by spreading his legs on command for anyone with money or influence. And even submitting to such indignity had not been enough to provide for him and one child, let alone two.

Loki studied their sleeping faces peeking out from between layers of salvaged fabric. Loki had never been around many newborns to make definitive assessments, but the boys looked to be identical. Maybe as they aged, they would be easier to tell apart. If they got older. Loki forced himself to remain realistic. They were stuck on a mountain with limited supplies. And newborns were terribly delicate.

But, the very real possibility that one or both of these boys wouldn't survive didn't mean that Boda didn't have a point. They should at least have names. Loki could give them nothing else.

Loki reached into the box and somewhat awkwardly picked up the first baby and tried to properly hold him. Although never having held an infant, Loki had no idea what he was doing. Boda stepped in to help position Loki's arm correctly. The boy snuffled a little but didn't wake up. "I think... He'll be Nari," Loki said. Loki looked to the other baby and, with Boda's help, got him settled in Loki's arms as well. "And Vali." Neither were particularly grand names, but then what use would they have for impressive, royal sounding names? Loki wasn't even sure if he should give them 'Lokison' or if that would be just another burden upon them. Probably the latter.

Loki settled back as his sons slept in his arms. It was surreal holding two infants that had so recently been battering his internal organs. He didn't even know how he felt. Wasn't he supposed to instantly love these two that he spent twenty-seven hours in pain over? He... didn't. 

Loki frowned. Perhaps there was something inherently wrong with him, after all. There was some flaw in his brain or biology that made him this way. Something inherited in his barbaric genetics. He always seemed to be such a monster that did the wrong things. And here, he was not even feeling the proper emotions towards his sons. He didn't feel much at all about them, except perhaps exhausted and preemptively anxious. He didn't want anything to happen to them or anything quite that horrible. Loki took a little comfort in that. But, he recalled hearing others talk about how instantly they loved their children the moment they were born, and Loki certainly didn't.

"You look troubled," Boda said. "What's the matter?"

"A shorter list would be what is right," Loki said.

"Would you like to maybe spend some time with them alone?"

Loki didn't really, but if he didn't come to some sort of acceptance of the situation, it would only get more unbearable. "I should. I'm trapped here in bed anyway."

Boda nodded. "I'll let Chiowe know you're awake and make something for you to eat."

Loki wasn't hungry but knew he couldn't deny himself. He had to provide for Nari and Vali. It was an unpleasant and frankly disconcerting thought, but there was nothing for it. Newborns couldn't gnaw on bear meat. Loki was still a female in body, but once he no longer had to be, he would attempt to shift his form back to male.

The days passed unbearably slowly. Loki hated being idle in bed, and the twins spent most of their time sleeping or nursing. Loki didn't mind the first but loathed the second. It felt unpleasant and unnatural to him despite him inhabiting a female body. But, nursing the twins slowly became at least tolerable as Loki warmed up to them. They became cuter once they were a few days older. And they stared up at Loki with a genuinely shocking amount of trust. Loki hadn't been so wholly trusted in decades, at least. He wasn't used to it, but the expressions tugged on some cold, dead tendon in his chest directly attached to his monstrous heart. 

Loki realized quickly it wasn't actually impossible to tell the boys apart. Vali's right eye had a distinctly different color than his left. His right eye had an almost golden hue radiating from around his pupil. Loki found it quite beautiful but wasn't sure if it was something to worry about or not. Not that he could do anything even if it were a medical concern, he realized.

Boda came in frequently to report on what everyone was doing, and Chiowe visited to check on Loki and the twins. Since Ntira couldn't go outside due to the cold, she did most of the cooking and brought Loki his food. O'rang seemed fascinated by the twins and stopped by regularly to help Loki with them. Even if that most often equated to holding one for a while as Loki attempted to keep himself occupied without getting up from the bed.

Once the week passed, Loki demanded the others to allow him out of bed no matter if Chiowe thought him recovered or not. He would go utterly insane if he was forced to lay there and keep himself busy with sewing and the like for even a day longer. He was still sore, but Loki had dealt with far worse. Vali and Nari needed his attention too frequently to leave the ship for long, but Loki was glad for any chance to get some fresh air and do something productive.

Nothing new had fallen into the traps they had laid, but Loki would be more capable of exploring for other resources now that he wasn't laden down with a gargantuan belly. He just had to make sure to return before the twins needed another feeding. It was a hindrance indeed, and every time Loki had to go back without making much progress in his exploration, he felt like he was failing. He had known things would be much harder chained to a newborn, but he hadn't anticipated just how much. They needed to get down the mountain before O'rang became too burdened with her own pregnancy. Hopefully, they would find somewhere with better resources or a place where they could steal a space-worthy vessel. Assuming they were on a planet with a population that was able to space travel. If they weren't, Loki would have to accept they might never escape.

As the days continued to creep by without anything changing in their situation, Loki gathered up all the other slaves in the kitchen. "We need to get off this mountain sooner rather than later. There isn't a steady supply of food here. We got lucky with the bear, but we haven't gotten anything new since. If we put everything we have left on a sled along with the wood we've saved and dried, we might have a chance to get to the bottom of the mountain and find a more hospitable area."

"If we can wait a day or so, I can preserve the remainder of the bear meat to make it last longer," Ntira said. "For whatever it's worth. We're going through it pretty fast."

Loki nodded. He knew that he and O'rang were getting the majority of the food rations. It was part of the reason he was so worried. Perhaps if they had found even nuts and berries to help, he would be willing to give the traps a little more time. But as it was, they needed to go while they weren't too terribly weakened by lack of food. Or before those not burdened with children decided to cut out the drain on their supplies.

"Is there any clue to how far we'll have to go to get off the mountain?" Saiz asked.

"It's hard to tell," Loki said. "But if we don't leave while we are still relatively healthy and strong, by the time we have no choice, we won't be able to make it."

"It makes sense," Boda said. "We don't want to wait so long that O'rang can't make the journey."

"We'll need to do something to protect the twins from the elements," Chiowe said. "But, if we have a day still, I'm sure we can come up with something."

"This seems like a gamble," Ntira said. "We don't even know where we're going or what might be waiting for us."

"Loki is right, though," Ieka said. "Waiting here while we keep eating all our food is only going to lead to disaster later on. At the very least, at lower altitudes, there is more chance of wildlife and edible plants."

There was a little more debate, but ultimately, the decision was made to spend a day gathering up what was useful and preparing to venture down the mountain. Loki had to admit to being apprehensive. Taking the twins out into the cold was going to be very dangerous for them. Despite regular feedings, they were still small and a little thin.

Two days later, they had everything they could use on two sleds. Boda dragged one sled while Ieka took the other. Vali and Nari were in a sheltered and cushioned box on one of the sleds. Not ideal, but the closest thing to shelter that they could figure. Especially as Loki's skin got cool to the touch when he shifted to Jotun, and that would not help the boys stay warm. Saiz, Chiowe, and Ieka had torn into the ship's walls to get out several insulation panels, and part of those panels was around the twin's box, so it should hopefully be enough.

The snow was deep, and they had only been hiking a few hours before Ntira was showing how difficult it was for her. Despite being the most bundled of all the adults, she was already shivering from the cold. There wasn't much they could do about that, unfortunately. They could only keep hiking and hope that the area would be more temperate once they got off the mountain.


End file.
